When Matt & I got engaged, we signed up for pre marital counseling as most churches require that as a prerequisite for getting married. We weren’t thrilled about going at first, but turns out we had a ton of fun and learned so much about something neither of us knew anything about: marriage. We invested 4 days for a lifetime of awesome advice to fall back on. I was a psychology major and had learned all about the Love Languages and had even taken the test. The significance of it did not register until this class and a man I was in love with to apply it to. I am here to tell you, if you don’t know how to navigate through a disagreement, a lull in the relationship, or how to make them happy refer to their Love Languages.
There are 5: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch
Take the test HERE.
Ok, I am not very secretive…my love language is Acts of Service…”Where actions speak louder than words”. When Matt takes out the garbage, does the dishes, or folds the laundry it is literally the MOST romantic thing in the world to me. The other part of this is I LOVE little gestures and surprises. A note on my pillow, a surprise dinner date, or a back rub are a HUGE part of my love language. In fact, our pastor said something that stuck with us. If you have no clue what to do to make things right, simply SERVE them. All that means is refer to their love language and act on it!
This year we made a promise to each other as we exchanged our 2015 goals that we would speak each other’s love language more. In order for you to understand my promise to Matt you need to know something. Matt is a minimalist and I love this about him despite it being the polar opposite of myself. For example, one new shirt in the closet, one old shirt in the Goodwill pile, his desk at work looks like an available space for a new hire, and he could literally pack up his belongings in one small cardboard box (minus his clubs) and hit the road in the middle of the night like Kindergarten Cop. So, for some reason when I leave a trail of Heather Stuff from the living room to the bedroom it stresses him out. What?! I am not a
messy filthy person, it’s just that I don’t won’t to get lost! Therefore, my New Year’s promise to Matt was to always pick up after myself…AKA Heather Sweep.
In return, he promised to surprise me with dates. I picked this one mostly because he already takes out the trash, does the dishes and folds my laundry (from time to time)…After reading this, I realize how I must sound…lazy, slobby, and needy. I am none of those things, I just happen to have an awesome husband who is thankful that I started to finally cook for him after 5 years The other reason I chose surprise dates is because I LOVE surprises…as long as they are planned Every Christmas growing up, we never got to just open our gifts, we had to find them as they were hidden with clues all over the house. My tooth fairy, Swimp from the Kingdom of Harber Bubble didn’t just leave a quarter under my pillow, she left me a long note that I could only decode if I read it in the mirror. You get the idea. It’s never been about the gift so much as the trouble it took to hide it.
Anyway, last night we spoke each other’s Love Languages. We went on a surprise date. And after the date I put the dress, shoes, and necklace back where they belong.